


Shattering Splintering Snapping

by DankMemes_BrokenDreams



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Everyone Needs A Hug, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pre-Relationship, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicide Attempt, The Author Regrets Everything
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2020-08-11 00:16:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,912
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20144371
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DankMemes_BrokenDreams/pseuds/DankMemes_BrokenDreams
Summary: Kaito Momota was strong, as everyone knewHe never seemed to show any weakness, or insecurity, or fearbut what would happenif he were tobreak





	Shattering Splintering Snapping

**Author's Note:**

> MY BABY IM SO SORRY
> 
> there's a lot of not happy stuff in this fic, please read the tags and stay safe!

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. 

It wasn’t supposed to happen at all.

The 79th class of Hopes Peak Academy had a substitute teacher for the day, and she did not seem intent to actually teach them. Her intentions seemed much more...psychological, as she was very interested in getting the students to open up to each other, rather than actually teaching them about physics. 

“Now, I’m sure you guys have no idea what’s going on inside your classmates minds. Their fears, insecurities, issues. Many just assume things about each other and take things at face value. The ones who smile and joke might actually be the ones who struggle the most. What I want is for you to share with one another, so that we can help you if you are hurting.”

No one spoke.

They all looked at each other suspiciously, waiting for someone to take the plunge and spill. 

“Oh come on now, don’t be shy.” The teacher spoke, strolling around the room. 

“I tried to kill myself a few weeks ago.” Kaito spoke, voice shaking, eyes glaring at the tiled floor. 

And then he couldn’t. stop. talking.

Even though it was pathetic, because yeah, it totally was. 100% definitely was the most pathetic thing he’s done. What kind of hero tries to off himself for a stupid selfish reason like that. And it’s not because he’s insecure, because he’s a coward, because he-it’s because he was being a crybaby and upset about his grandparents dog being put down. That’s it, that’s all. He’s not weak, he’s never been weak, he’s strong. He needs to be, for Shuichi and Maki and Kokichi and everyone. 

So why does he 

keep

talking

The words flow out of him like a dam has been opened, and he desperately wants to stop because he can feel everyone’s eyes blazing his skin. 

Their pitying, despairing eyes. 

Selfish, weak, coward. 

Why why why 

S h u t. U p. 

He realizes that there’s tears trailing down his face, down his shirt, puddling on the floor, god please stop talking.

But now he’s shattering

Vulnerable

Scraped raw, for the world to see

He can’t look at Maki, or Shuichi, or Kokichi because he knows he’s failed them 

He was supposed to be strong

He’s a failure, he’s a weak selfish idiot coward and he should just 

D I E

Then suddenly he’s sprinting, out of the classroom, down the hall, and he can feel everyone’s eyes on him.

When he gets into an empty bathroom stall he splinters into a million pieces. 

Broken

Broken

Broken

Useless 

Coward

Inferior 

Inferior 

Inferior 

Inferior 

Every thought, a new scratch on his arm. 

Please don’t come looking for me’, was his only thought as he kept scratching scratching scratching, knowing he deserved every single scar. He bangs his head against the stall door, and he relishes in the moment of relief it gives him. 

He’s drowning in his thoughts, suffocating, choking in his self hatred, until he hears a soft knock on the door.

“Momota-chan?” 

“G-go away.” His voice is raw everything is raw 

He wants to disappear.

“No.”

“Wh-no?”

Kokichi sighs against the door, he can feel the pressure coming from the other side. 

His mind is shattered and there’s blood pouring down his arms, staining his white jacket a bright pink. 

“I’m gonna tell you a story, ok Momota-Chan?” His voice is soft, too soft, and Kaito knows that Kokichi is pitying him.

“I don’t want your pity.”

“Nishishi. You should know better. I don’t pity people, never have, never will.” Kaito feels like he’s about to start crying again and he’s about to yell because no one should see him like this, especially not his new sidekick.

“Just-go away.” He hears the sob in his voice and he wishes he wasn’t so pathetic.

“No fair. I haven’t even told you my story yet.” Kokichi bangs on the stall, and Kaito wonders if its to ground him. 

“Ouma-“ they both sigh at the same time, and Kaito wonders if it was intentional.

“I’m telling you a story while you calm down, ok Momota-Chan?” It wasn’t a question, more like a demand, and Kaito knows Kokichi won’t leave unless he tells it anyway.

“...alright.”

“Yay!” Kaito rests his head against the stall door, and prepares for whatever outlandish tale his sidekick is going to tell. 

“So, once upon a time there was a...uhhhh...an elephant! Yeah, there was an elephant. And the elephant wanted to help anyone that needed help to improve. 

But the elephant was struggling inside. He didn’t want anyone else to see his pain, so he pretended that he was fine. He felt like he couldn’t show his sideki-I mean...animal friends that he was hurting.

He didn’t want to seem weak.” Kokichi took a breath, and continued, “does this story sound familiar, Momota-Chan?” There were tears streaming down Kaito’s face, and he started scratching his arms again.

“Ouma-“ he started, but cut himself off. Kokichi didn’t respond, only kept leaning on the door. “Ouma, you’re wrong.” 

“Hm?”

“I don’t feel that way, I don’t feel that way at all. I’m not a coward like that elephant and I’m not pathetic and I’m not weak and I’m not broken, because I can’t break obviously. I appreciate the fact that you care but I don’t need you to worry about me, I’m fine I’m fine, please don’t worry. Don’t make me make you worried I don’t want that-“ he began to hyperventilate, tugging on his hair, pushing his back harder on the door, sobbing. 

“Momota-Chan, breathe.” 

He couldn’t hear him over the sound of his pounding thoughts.

“Momota-Chan.” Kokichi kept repeating his name. Over and over, in that soft voice he was using. 

“Listen, Momota-Chan, can you just open the door? It would be easier that way.” If Kaito thought about it, Kokichi almost sounded worried

“Just-just go away.” 

“Momota-Chan.”

“I’m fine.” His voice was strained, it was hard to breathe, why was it so hard to breathe. 

“Kaito.” 

He snapped up at the sound of his name, his actual name, not Momota Chan or Momota or luminary of the Stars or hero or whatever else he tried to call himself. 

“I need you to breathe. You can do that, can’t you?” His voice was now stern, grounding, and Kaito forced himself to breathe. 

He was shaking, hugging himself, shirt stained with blood, arms burning, eyes red, and he was staring at the blinding lights on the ceiling. 

“That’s not me. I’m not like that.” He mumbled, still trying to calm himself down.

“What? Insecure? ‘Broken’ as I think you called it? Nishishi, silly Momota-Chan. You know what this makes you?”

“What? I’m supposed to be a hero, I’m not someone to-“

“It makes you human.” 

“Huh?”

“Momota-Chan, don’t tell me you’re that stupid. If you didn’t have flaws, you wouldn’t be human, you’d be one of those people in a medicine commercial. Or an alien. Which would actually make sense, because why else would you want to go to space unless you want to go back to your home. But I doubt you’re an actual alien, right Momota-Chan?” Kaito laughs slightly, a weak, watery sound. 

“You have an odd way of comforting people...” He murmured softly, looking at the blood on his arms. 

“Yeah, I guess I do.” Kokichi said, and Kaito could hear the smile in his voice

“Thank you.” 

“Yeah, yeah, are you gonna come out now?” He took a shaky breath, still staring at the scratches on his arms.

Weak weak weak 

He scratches some more, making his arms burn and suddenly his mind is gone again.

“Momota-chan.” His head snaps up, snapping out of his thoughts, snapping snapping snapping 

“Huh-oh, yeah. I’m gonna come out.” He hears Kokichi step back, giving him room to open the door. He does so, and hides his arms behind his back. Kokichi noticed, of course, he’s so perceptive...

“Man, you look like shit...” He smirks, though Kaito can still see some worry in his eyes.

“Yeah, thanks.” 

“What’s wrong with your arms?”

“My what?”

“Your arms, Momota-Chan. Why are you hiding them?”

He’s going to break again 

Snapping shattering splintering 

“I-it’s nothing, don’t worry about it.”

“Show me.”

“Wh-no!” He wants to go back to the stall why can’t he go back to the stall. 

“Momota-Chan.” 

“Ouma, I’m fine.”

“Wow, you’re a worse liar than me.” He laughs bitterly, crossing his arms. His eyes pierce through Kaito’s soul and he wonders if Kokichi knows everything. About him, about why he lives with his grandparents, about his arms. 

“You don’t know me. You don’t know anything about me.” Kaito speaks, regretting the words the second they leave his mouth. He gets a strange feeling of deja vu

They’ve had this conversation before, with the roles reversed 

“Your name is Kaito Momota. You’re an idiot. You hide behind walls, just like I do. You hate liars because you are one. You don’t want people to know you can break. You don’t want people to think you’re weak. Now show me your arms.” They stare at each other. Kaito sighs in resignation and removes his arms from behind his back, Kokichi doesn’t even wince. There’s no ounce of shock on his face, no surprise.

“Momota-Chan...” 

“I-it’s ok. You don’t need to take care of me.”

“Well I’m not gonna just leave you here. Take off your jackets, let me help.” Kaito nearly jumps at the honesty in his voice, and starts to remove his jackets. 

Bright pink scratches, messily scarring his skin. His face flushes in humiliation. Kokichi says nothing, gets a paper towel and water, cleans the injuries, and says nothing. 

“You probably think I’m crazy.”

“well, I’ve thought that for a while.” Kokichi laughs, for a second, then the smile vanishes from his face and he takes a breath and suddenly he’s rolling up his sleeves.

“Ouma...”

“Yeah, aha. You’re not the only one.” 

It’s reassuring. He’s not a freak, and he’s not alone

He’s far from a hero

But he’s human

They stare at each other for a bit. 

“Thank you.”

“Maybe I should make you lick my shoes as payment~”

“No way in hell.” 

Kokichi scoffs, “how rude!” He says, acting offended. 

But Kaito sees the smile creeping up on his face, and he sees how he has to turn away to hide it.

“We should probably head back.” 

“Yeah.”

Neither of them leave. They roll down their sleeves, and clean up the paper towels, but they don’t leave. 

“Sorry.”

“For what?”

“Making a big deal out of nothing.”

“Don’t be stupid, Momota-chan.”   
“I-it’s just...I need to be strong, for you and Maki roll and shuichi and everyone else. But I have all these stupid problems and I’m not enough and I don’t think I’m ever going to be enough-“ and he’s crying again, he’s crying in front of the person that he has to be strong for, and he hides his face in his hands like a weak pathetic child. 

Then there are arms around his waist, and someone dragging him to sit down on the floor, someone holding him together. Someone whispering to him, “it’s going to be ok.” 

So he sobs into his shirt, and Kokichi makes no move to leave, so he cries harder. 

Once he finally stops, they still don’t move.

Maybe he’s broken, maybe he’s shattered, maybe he’s a coward

But he’s human

And that’s ok

**Author's Note:**

> If you guys enjoyed, please leave a comment!!


End file.
